Alright. I’ll do it.

a ghost from blogging past.

After enjoying reading the last few previous posts, I thought I’d drop a line or two. I too approach somewhat of a time of rapid change. It’s strange to have so much freedom to go where you want, yet feel so secured to staying in one place. Everyday I’m different, I feel like I’m having travel-PMS (don’t be offended, please).  I don’t feel stuck, that’s not the right word. It’s more like I got a Sam’s-Club-free-sample of the BIG OLD world out there, I didn’t buy the 2-pound bag yet, but I haven’t cancelled my membership yet either. I want more than a sample now, because I want to eat it for more than 5 minutes. But I’m afraid that if I go back and buy the bag, now I’m committed, and there’s nothing wrong with committing to that bag but what if that two pounds is just too heavy? …now I’m out 1/4 of the money I made subbing today, I can’t return it, and I got to listen to the Cosco two cities over tell me “I told you so” for the next 365 visits…

I once read a book titled “The Last Lecture” by a man named Randy Pausch, who was essentially on his deathbed recalling the pro’s and con’s to the decisions and routes he chose in his life, a somewhat different spin on the well-known book “Tuesdays with Morrie” (also re-read recently). My favorite quote, in all its simplicity is “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing us humans have to offer.” He had a life of unsteady careers, pursuing things he loved that didn’t make sense stability-wise. He found himself in the strangest love encounters, that he approached completely on impulse. And yet now he’s lived an entertaining-enough life to attract millions of readers to his book. And learned enough lessons to inspire the general public.

I’m not sure where I’ll be next year, or how my decisions tomorrow will affect it, if at all. But if I’m beginning to believe that with that idea, with that quote, essentially there are no failed decisions…and at least for a moment, you get assurance, pressure lifted off your shoulders.

…or so it seems. Then again, I can’t decide what to eat for breakfast each morning.


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