Anastasia kick

Seems like this site’s deserted save my sporadic posts. (Most of my energies, fyi, can be spotted at 26books, at least literary-wise!)

I’ve been thinking a lot about 20th Century Fox’s Anastasia flick lately, mostly because Sunday night I was chopping up mint leaves for delicious homemade tabouli and it reminded me of my childhood just like Anastasia’s grandmother’s peppermint scent reminded HER of her royal childhood.

Let’s continue.

So now I’m at the point where I was last year– where my life is rapidly approaching a point of transition, decision, or (as it nearly was last May) collision.  I am back and forth on a weekly basis about where I want to be, what I want to be spending 40+ hours of my week on, and what things matter the most as I begin my search.

And then, there’s Anastasia:

One step at a time,
One hope then another–
Who knows where this road may go?
Back to who I was,
On to find my future;
Things my heart still needs to know…

And then, of course, there’s ME.

I am RELIGIOUSLY devoted to Ehrmann’s idea that “Whether or not it is clear to you,/ no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should,” and that is certainly so much easier said than lived.  I have felt things in my gut that have ended up being right for one reason or another (often logistically), so I just need to remind myself that trusting what I feel for myself is not only ideal but also typically TRUE.

(Latest examples: feeling excited-but-not-too-hopeful after applying for a position in Laos only to find that the position posting had left off a very important “you must be a local” detail, and wrestling for literally 5 months with CWRU’s MSASS/MNO dual degree option only to be handed a full-ride scholarship notification that had, in fine print, that dual degree applicants were ineligible.)

After all, one option for my life post-VISTA will neither be right nor wrong; it’ll just be a CHOICE.  Something DIFFERENT than my other options.  Let me unfold where I may…as long as I’m doing so in the name of what I love.


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