Good morning y’all! I am currently enjoying a cup of coffee and zucchini muffins (arguably my favorite part of every day). Who’d a thought zucchini and muffins could bring their powers together to form a wonderful breakfast delight, right? Add a Bob Marley play list to that mix and you’ve recreated my current state!
Well it is Thursday and I am yet to blog about the Chi-city. While I realize I may be overdue, I couldn’t let such a poetic weekend (reference to the artistic works of Becky Hammer) pass by with no explanation. I would like to first pay some homage to the Song Family (no this is not a collection of musical pieces). Not only did Mrs. Song’s presence and generous nature make Friday night everything that it was, but I watched her share a 30 oz beer with her son! I would also like to throw some love to Mr. Song who, despite our 30 sec. attempt at a conversation via cellular phone with the absence of a translator, told Mrs. Song to be sure to show Dong and his friends (and family) a good time in the Chi. However nothing was more priceless in that night than watching Dong pull his tiny little mother through a Chicago crowd of thousands, especially when he took off running with her after he mistakenly heard a 2 guys taunting each other into fighting (which actually turned out to be an officer yelling at some hoodlums). Oh yea, and then there was a young man by the name of Michael Johnson who after cursing at a Taxi driver for his incompetence (most likely this was not the case but rather Johnson’s inability to communicate when intoxicated) was dropped off no where near what he had been told over 20 times. No worries, we found him…well kind of.
As Saturday approached, I anticipated the feeling of being dumped Into the Wild, surviving on only Dasani water bottles and 5 dollar foot-longs. I did much research on what to wear to void off predators (Hulk Rules bandanna) and how to entertain oneself to fight off insanity (songs that take 1,482 seconds to sing. Refer to calculations at bottom of page). The hiking excursion turned out to be a 5 mile nature walk with the discovery of 3 things: rain, baby frogs, and 99 bottles of beer (or one water bottle). For the confused mind, these are all items for which we could have located in Ohio. However, beyond the frequent silent whining of my fellow hikers (body language speaks louder than words), I enjoyed the hiking experience simply because I got to use my boyscout hiking pack (that’s right, Smola) and I truly survived the Wilderness…of a paved State Trail.
All in all, the Bear-Grylls-of-a-weekend taught me to never trust Ohio’s Thursday’s perception of Chicago’s Saturday’s weather, I may postpone my Alaskan adventure until a later date (never), if camping is your sole priority for a weekend, find someone you know that lives close, and I would like to make a move for Subway to advertise “5 dollar, 5 dollar, 5 dollar waterproof foot-looongs.”
-Verse 1 is 4 measures long (4 beats a measure) comprising a verse of 16 beats or counts.
-Given that there are 99 verses in the song (assuming each bottle is a verse), it takes 396 measures to complete the song (or 1,584 beats/counts). Let’s call this number “1584”.
-How long will it take to complete the song while hiking 2.5 miles? Let’s call the equation “1,584X.”
-The average singer of this tune may allocate 1 second for every count (X=1 second). One with a simple mind would then say that it takes 1,584 seconds to complete the song.
-However with frequent on/off jogging and the additional factor of tossing a water bottle, this number does not accredit the exhaustion that sets in.
-A fluctuation of +/- 2 seconds for every measure must be added depending on the pace and condition of the singers.
-Since the singers in this case began with a normal pace, but became tired near 49 bottles remaining (or 16 measures x 49 seconds = 784 seconds), we may subtract 2 seconds for every measure after and including the 49th bottle verse. [784 seconds – (2 seconds x 49 verses)] = 686 seconds for 49th and under.
-We may then add this to the time of the first 50 bottles (800 seconds + 686 seconds = 1,486 seconds).
-But Wait!! At some point in the last 30 verses, due to slippery conditions, Miss Molly Dull dropped the participating water bottle, causing her to back track on the trail and delaying the entire operation by 4 seconds (1,486-4 = 1,482 seconds).
–1,584 – X = 1,482 seconds, where X = -102 seconds
– We may conclude then, that it takes approximately 1,482 seconds to complete the singing of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall on a 2.5 mile hike in the raining conditions of Waterfall Glen trail!